endreal:

Are you ready?

Now bear with me guys, because this is mind-blowing. Revolutionary.

Get this: The trolls are

sentient plants.

And the color (colour?) of their blood is related to how spicy they are.

Like how Feferi is really sweet but sometimes disagreeable but basically not spicy at all so she’s got blood that looks more like cupcake icing than a plant. Or a flower. I don’t know. Flowers are cool.

And then Eridan is all eggplant-y and stuff, which is why no one likes him - because eggplants vaguely look like peppers but they don’t taste like them at all so bluh bluh forevver alone

And then from there you go through Gamzee who is too stoned to realize he’s supposed to be a pepper and is totally chill with it until he runs out of sopor slime (fertilizer!?!?!?!?????) and realizes how much of a travesty he is and goes into a murderous rampage

and vriska who is actually secretly a blueberry and that is why she’s always trying to prove how great she is because blueberries are itty bitty (and also non peppers) so she has like a Napoleon complex or something.

And Terezi is actually just unflavored jell-o because you can put in any flavor you want when you make it and that’s why she likes licking other trolls

and from there you go through shades of green and yellow and red (except for tavros who is brown like a gourd and that is why he has self-esteem issues)

and just like real peppers, the trolls get spicier the lower down on the hemospectrum you go (green-yellow-red).

And then Karkat

Karkat is ornery for the same reason habaneros, naga viper peppers, and infinity chilli peppers are red.

Karkat has too much capsaicin in his blood.

Ahahaha, remember this, guys?

Scarletsyd: were you Equius anon?

Endreal: Yes
Endreal: It should be e%ceptionally obvious that it was me
Endreal:

A very dear friend was having a shitty night at work, so I wrote this Homestuck AU fanfic to try and help cheer her up. <3

Read More

Are you ready?

Now bear with me guys, because this is mind-blowing. Revolutionary.

Get this: The trolls are

sentient plants.

And the color (colour?) of their blood is related to how spicy they are.

Like how Feferi is really sweet but sometimes disagreeable but basically not spicy at all so she’s got blood that looks more like cupcake icing than a plant. Or a flower. I don’t know. Flowers are cool.

And then Eridan is all eggplant-y and stuff, which is why no one likes him - because eggplants vaguely look like peppers but they don’t taste like them at all so bluh bluh forevver alone

And then from there you go through Gamzee who is too stoned to realize he’s supposed to be a pepper and is totally chill with it until he runs out of sopor slime (fertilizer!?!?!?!?????) and realizes how much of a travesty he is and goes into a murderous rampage

and vriska who is actually secretly a blueberry and that is why she’s always trying to prove how great she is because blueberries are itty bitty (and also non peppers) so she has like a Napoleon complex or something.

And Terezi is actually just unflavored jell-o because you can put in any flavor you want when you make it and that’s why she likes licking other trolls

and from there you go through shades of green and yellow and red (except for tavros who is brown like a gourd and that is why he has self-esteem issues)

and just like real peppers, the trolls get spicier the lower down on the hemospectrum you go (green-yellow-red).

And then Karkat

Karkat is ornery for the same reason habaneros, naga viper peppers, and infinity chilli peppers are red.

Karkat has too much capsaicin in his blood.

fluffandneedles:

Troll Christmas wreath!! :D