Pepperstuck: The Only Hemospectrum Headcanon You’ll Ever Need for the Rest of Your Life
endreal:
Are you ready?
Now bear with me guys, because this is mind-blowing. Revolutionary.
Get this: The trolls are
sentient plants.
And the color (colour?) of their blood is related to how spicy they are.
Like how Feferi is really sweet but sometimes disagreeable but basically not spicy at all so she’s got blood that looks more like cupcake icing than a plant. Or a flower. I don’t know. Flowers are cool.
And then Eridan is all eggplant-y and stuff, which is why no one likes him - because eggplants vaguely look like peppers but they don’t taste like them at all so bluh bluh forevver alone
And then from there you go through Gamzee who is too stoned to realize he’s supposed to be a pepper and is totally chill with it until he runs out of sopor slime (fertilizer!?!?!?!?????) and realizes how much of a travesty he is and goes into a murderous rampage
and vriska who is actually secretly a blueberry and that is why she’s always trying to prove how great she is because blueberries are itty bitty (and also non peppers) so she has like a Napoleon complex or something.
And Terezi is actually just unflavored jell-o because you can put in any flavor you want when you make it and that’s why she likes licking other trolls
and from there you go through shades of green and yellow and red (except for tavros who is brown like a gourd and that is why he has self-esteem issues)
and just like real peppers, the trolls get spicier the lower down on the hemospectrum you go (green-yellow-red).
And then Karkat
Karkat is ornery for the same reason habaneros, naga viper peppers, and infinity chilli peppers are red.
Karkat has too much capsaicin in his blood.
Ahahaha, remember this, guys?
I like Aradia, don’t get me wrong
But she hasn’t blinked even once since achieving god tier.
And that’s unnerving as fuck.
Alternia High School: new student
A very dear friend was having a shitty night at work, so I wrote this Homestuck AU fanfic to try and help cheer her up. <3
Read More
Pepperstuck: The Only Hemospectrum Headcanon You’ll Ever Need for the Rest of Your Life
Are you ready?
Now bear with me guys, because this is mind-blowing. Revolutionary.
Get this: The trolls are
sentient plants.
And the color (colour?) of their blood is related to how spicy they are.
Like how Feferi is really sweet but sometimes disagreeable but basically not spicy at all so she’s got blood that looks more like cupcake icing than a plant. Or a flower. I don’t know. Flowers are cool.
And then Eridan is all eggplant-y and stuff, which is why no one likes him - because eggplants vaguely look like peppers but they don’t taste like them at all so bluh bluh forevver alone
And then from there you go through Gamzee who is too stoned to realize he’s supposed to be a pepper and is totally chill with it until he runs out of sopor slime (fertilizer!?!?!?!?????) and realizes how much of a travesty he is and goes into a murderous rampage
and vriska who is actually secretly a blueberry and that is why she’s always trying to prove how great she is because blueberries are itty bitty (and also non peppers) so she has like a Napoleon complex or something.
And Terezi is actually just unflavored jell-o because you can put in any flavor you want when you make it and that’s why she likes licking other trolls
and from there you go through shades of green and yellow and red (except for tavros who is brown like a gourd and that is why he has self-esteem issues)
and just like real peppers, the trolls get spicier the lower down on the hemospectrum you go (green-yellow-red).
And then Karkat
Karkat is ornery for the same reason habaneros, naga viper peppers, and infinity chilli peppers are red.
Karkat has too much capsaicin in his blood.
This is stupid: because it’s a fictional story and I shouldn’t care about it as much as I do
highbloodswantdatass:
zenophrenic:
I did some more Nightmarestuck! Lucky you.
Aradia, miss Maid of Time. I bet you’ve noticed by now that there is always some convenient object covering up the NAUGHTY BITS and this is because I have the make these school-appropriate for my portfolio.
also I like teeth
i love everything about this
Nightmarestuck, eh? Pretty cool!